by tiana on May 3, 2015 · 0 comments

in Self Improvement

In the morning, before each of my graduations (high school, undergrad, graduate school), I would get up and play the instrumental version of the song I Believe I Can Fly. I didn’t really like the lyrics to the song. In fact, I only liked the first 30 seconds of the song right before the beat dropped. I’m not sure why but the first 30 seconds elevates my spirit. It gives me confirmation that I am moving on to the next level and that I have graduated from the previous one. I am growing up.

I woke up one day recently with that image in my mind. Me with my cap and gown, standing in front of my stereo, taking in the beginning of the song, and preparing to take life by the horns. But this time, it wasn’t an ending to school but an ending to a chapter in my life.

Crazy people. I’m not dealing with crazy people anymore. I don’t have time to understand your ugly motives or try to help you not be crazy anymore. And, I’m not talking about the good crazy. I’m not talking about the adventurous, outgoing, fun-loving crazy people, those are my soulmates. I’m talking about selfish, jealous, wrong ambitions, wrong attitudes, negative, hateful, spiteful, controlling, and domineering crazy people. And it’s not that I won’t run into crazy people in my life, because I will and I have, it’s just that I don’t have to deal with you or bring you into my life…ever.

Disposal of people. All of the above I just described. I’ve held onto you for too long and I am now letting you go. I don’t fit in, I am fine with that. I don’t have to be accepted or understood. I will remain alone until the right people come into my life. I won’t choose you anymore because I am lonely. I will stand up for myself whether you like it or not. I will speak up when you are wrong. And, even if you succeed at harming me, you still do not have control over my life or my destiny. It’s not that I am better, it’s just that now, I know better.

Acceptance of my choices. I am not normal. I do not wish to be anymore. I do not wish to work a 9-5 for someone else. I would only do it if I am 10 seconds from being homeless. But, even then I am just working until I can live off of my dream again. I am an entrepreneur. I am a leader. I am on a path that others around me are not taking. I am brave. I make my own decisions for my business. I will stick to what feels right, not what everyone else thinks is right. I will keep going, even after failure. It maybe crazy because I am not doing the normal thing but it feels right. It’s what God has given me, I must share it with the world.

Speaking it into existence. I now live by faith and not by sight. I have not fully conquered the fear of starting too late or that the rapture will come before I accomplish my dreams. But, If I die today or tomorrow, at least I know that I was living the life I always wanted to live. I did have an actual God given vision for my future, I know I am on the right path, and I am no longer afraid to make decisions that I know will sit right with my spirit. I will be successful.

I know new chapters means new demons, new problems, new blessings and new experiences…but I am ready. I was born to fly.

I have graduated.




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