by tiana on October 17, 2014 · 0 comments

in Discouragement

Everyday is a struggle. Everyday that I wake up I realize that much around me has not changed. I am ┬ástill living in the same house that I’ve been in since I was 16. I am still living paycheck to paycheck. I am still alone. Looking on the outside I feel like nothing has happened. Nothing has changed. I get frustrated and find it hard to think positive everyday.

Planting seeds is the easy part. You place the seed in the dirt, cover it, and then let it grow. But you can look at that seed day after day, night after night and see no growth. It’s still a pile of dirt. The head of the stalk hasn’t even sprouted out yet. Week after week, It’s still a pile of dirt. Year after year, yet still a pile of dirt. But what’s happening under the dirt? Growth. The things you can’t see are growing underneath the dirt. The plant is starting to form, the vines are starting to stretch out, and it’s getting taller and taller with each day.

I may be still living in the same place, I may have the same financial situations, and I may not be the most popular or have all the friends; but I am not the same person I use to be. I am growing. I have grown. No I don’t have a place of my own but I have grown to have unshakeable faith that one day I will live in my own place and live well. I am not rich but I am not struggling like I use to. I can afford even the little things now. I have grown to believe that even if I am broke again that God will pay all my bills. I may not have an entourage of friends and I may not go out or travel as much as others but I can be by myself. I can spend time by myself. I have learned a lot about myself. I am confident now. I’ve discovered my gifts and talents. I’ve learned that I was not meant to fit in but to stand out. It’s ok to be different now. I don’t need an entourage of friends anymore or a booming social life. I’ve learned a lot about people. So now I just want to be surrounded by people who love me, even if it’s just one person. The growth is happening on the inside. The growth is happening under the dirt and the mess and the trials and tribulations. I am not the same person I use to be. It’s under the dirt that growth happens. And one day people will see you emerge from that dirt a new person.

Right now you may see a pile of dirt, a desolate garden. But don’t underestimate your growth. You are growing and you are getting stronger. You are getting to the place God wants you to be. He planted the seed and waited for you to grow. He planted the seed of prophecy spoken over your life, he planted the seed of a vision he gave to you, he planted the seed of encouragement. Now you are growing and you’re not the same person you use to be. So don’t look at your circumstances surrounding you. Don’t think about how long it will take or how long it has already taken. Don’t look at the dirt but look to God who has your life safely planted in his hands.


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