Standing Alone

by tiana on September 19, 2014 · 0 comments

in Discouragement

When I first began my spiritual journey I had quite a few friends. I am an only child so friends were always important to me. In fact they were so important that I lost myself in trying to be accepted. I was trying to keep people in my life so I wouldn’t be alone. I was trying to please everyone. I was trying to get everyone to include me in everything. I wanted everyone to love me the way I loved them. The problem was that it took away from God. It wasn’t that I was worshiping them but when those friendships or relationships didn’t work out it consumed my mind and my heart; the two things God wanted for himself. It made me depressed and I felt worthless. I spent a lot of time trying to conquer constant rejection. It eventually got to the point of me asking why God created such a worthless person that no one wanted. It wasn’t until God showed me that he loved me. He always loved me. I also had to learn to love myself. My giving personality is a gift but I wasn’t suppose to get lost in people while sharing my gifts.

Unfortunately as I got stronger and grew closer to God I lost a lot of friends. They didn’t understand or didn’t want to understand my calling. They didn’t want to hear the message that God told me to give to them. I’ve been cursed out, laid out, threatened, ignored, and rejected. It hurt. It hurt because It was the opposite of what I wanted. I wanted friends. I wanted to be invited to things. I wanted to be loved. I wanted someone to share my ideas and dreams with. I wanted what I thought made a person whole, friends or someone to be in love with. But the more I tried to keep friends God removed them, keeping me close. He kept me. He made me strong because my future wasn’t going to be determined by the opinions of people. My future wasn’t going to be predicated on whether or not people would accept me. It wasn’t going to depend on insecure people who think they have control over my life and my success. It wasn’t going to end with the sad story of rejection.

Once he made me stronger, once he helped me fight the constant mental battle of rejection and pleasing people, once he helped me to stand up again; I regained my confidence. Now I can speak without fear of losing people because he prepared my heart for it. I stand up and boldly share my light without fear of rejection. I can walkout of bad situations without fear of losing a job or a position or relationship. Why? Because I know that God’s got me. He loves me and I wasn’t meant to be a loser.

Be prepared to stand alone. Be prepared to lose people and things. Be prepared to shed distractions, wants and needs that deter you from God. Be prepared because God chose you for a purpose and sometimes that road leads you to walk alone. Be prepared to face fears of letting go of what you thought you always needed. Be prepared to be stronger and more confident in the Lord. Be prepared to not be a loser but a winner. Be prepared to know that when he closes one door that he’ll open other doors. Be prepared, not fearful, because he’s got you. He’s got you.

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