I was watching some deleted scenes of Oprah’s Master Class with Alicia Keys. I came across one scene where she talks about being in a singing group. She explains how in her first group she was only 9 years old (the youngest in the group) and how she wanted to be the baby Michael Jackson of the group. She also talked about being in another group in high school. During one of their rehearsals the manager came up to her and told her that she should be a solo artist. At first she fought it because she wanted to be part of a group. She thought being a solo artist was going to be lonely. It was much safer to belong than to become the person God made you to be.
It reminded me of myself growing up. I always wanted to blend in with everyone. I didn’t want to be a leader of any kind. I just wanted to be accepted. I wanted to belong. Blending in with everyone else and trying to be their equal was going to help me not to stand out. However, no matter how hard I tried to blend in with people I couldn’t. I believe there are people who God made to stand out. It’s nothing special that they do to stand out. They don’t do it on purpose. They just stand out from the crowd. Of course God made us all special. We all have God given dreams and gifts. But some people just don’t fit into this world right from the start. My happy go lucky personality does not fit into this world. I just have this high spirit about everything. I smile all the time. I’m genuine. I’m nice and down to Earth. I can communicate with almost everyone. I’m just a happy person. People don’t really know how to deal with me. They may like me at first but then they don’t. Or they don’t like me at all. Some people’s light shines too brightly and they want you to calm it down or turn it off. Be like everyone else. So, you know, I didn’t have a lot of friends so that’s what I did. I hid my light because I wanted to be liked. I wanted people to accept me and I wanted to belong. Being alone was sad and scary. So I took on this I’m just like everybody else philosophy. This would make me normal. But when God has an anointing on your life people see your light, even when you don’t.
I remember working as a news writer at CBS. I hadn’t been there long but was getting acclimated to the job. I was concentrating on writing a story for one of the upcoming blocks in the show when this man sat next to me. He was a pretty prominent person at the station and I had no idea why he was sitting next to me. I figured he needed to use the computer next to me or something. I wasn’t expecting him to talk to me. He turns to me and says, “So I heard you have a Master’s Degree.” I was fairly new so I didn’t know that any news about you can spread throughout the station. I also didn’t tell anyone about my education besides the person who hired me. Yeah I have a couple of degrees but I’m here working my way up to the top like everyone else. There were plenty of people there with a college education. I wasn’t anyone special. ”Yes, I do.” I say uneasily. I wasn’t quite sure why he asked me that question. ”So,” he continued, “Why are you working here?” I was taken aback by that. What did he mean? I got my foot in the door. I’m starting at the bottom and working my way up. That was my plan. I belonged there just like everybody else. Besides this was Oprah’s old station and I wanted to be like Oprah. I was definitely in the right place. ”You seem smart. Maybe smarter than half of these people in here,” he continued. I knew that wasn’t true. These people were also college educated and probably had a better GPA than I did in undergrad. “But,” I said, “Don’t they have Master’s degrees too?” I pointed to two people who I knew for sure had a Master’s. He shook his head, “Yeah but you can do better than this.” Right after he said that another person came over and shared the same sentiment. I thought they were both crazy. There was no way I belonged anywhere else but at this station. This was my foot in the door. There was no way I could be smarter or more special than everyone else there. There was no way. I’m like everybody else. There were many other similar experiences I’ve had by other people who said, whether directly or indirectly, that there was something special about me. I didn’t want to believe them. I wasn’t special. I wasn’t even well liked or loved. I didn’t think I was pretty or sexy. In my eyes I wasn’t anybody worthy to be complimented or encouraged by someone.
This year has been an eye opener for me. All of my issues are beginning, if not fully, coming to a head. Either I be the person God made me to be or I live my life according to other people’s perception of me. God revealed something to me and I know I must follow his plan. But in order to do so I must unlock myself. I must be confident in myself. I must be courageous. I must feel beautiful inside and out. I must trust in God’s plan for my life. I must accept the person that God made me to be. All of my issues depression, low self esteem, loneliness, and anger all must subside and be set free. God made me special and I must believe it and receive it.
You are also special in God’s sight. Anyone who decides to follow their dreams is special. But you must think of yourself as special. Not arrogantly, but you must be confident in yourself. People are going to tell you that you’re not good enough or smart enough. They’re going to tell you you’re not pretty enough. That you don’t have what it takes. The world will try and break you down. Shut off your light. Dreamers go through more rejection in a month than anyone would in a year. You have to think you’re special enough to accomplish your dreams. You have to think you are worthy. You have to accept who God made you to be and have friends who adore you for who you are. You must press on because the road is long but it’s so worth it in the end. Be brave enough to follow your dreams.
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