I can’t fall back into depression. I’ve tried. There is a comfort in depression. You don’t have to try hard. You’ve already thought of yourself as a failure. It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself. It’s easy to lose confidence in all your ability and talents. It’s easy to be alone and be isolated from others. It’s easy to fall into that feeling of being a loser. There’s a comfort in being sad when you’ve dealt with it for quite some time. You become like Billie Holliday in her famous song “Hello, Heartache” because you’re use to losing for so long. So, I’ve tried to fall back into that pattern because it’s comfortable. Following your dreams is scary. There’s a lot of unknowns and possible failures. There’s a lot of what ifs. And it’s a very lonely path to take because everyone doesn’t understand what you’re doing. So, I tried…but I can’t. I’ve outgrown depression. I’ve outgrown the need to worry about circumstances. I’ve outgrown negative people. I’ve outgrown low self-esteem. I am in the process of outgrowing the voices in my head that try to discourage me and call me crazy because I am following my dreams. I am a new person now.

One day I decided to go through my playlists on my phone. I focused solely on my struggle music. My struggle music is the “Lord, help me please”, the “Get over that hump,”, that “I’m going to try and make it anyhow” music. The music that has helped me through the lowest times of my life. I tried to cling to that feeling again of struggle and no hope at the end of the tunnel because it has comforted me for so long. But, I just couldn’t. It was time for me to move on. I was on another level. It was time to be happy. It was time to be confident. It was time to be a conquerer. It was time for conquerer music to fit my new conquerer attitude. It was time to be who God wanted me to be.

You may have overcome alcoholism for several years now but Satan is making you believe that there’s something to be sad about; convincing you to have a drink. You may have overcome drug addiction and felt that same negative feeling and the comfort it brings. You have left an abusive relationship and you’re alone and want to reconnect with them. But, you can’t. You’ve tried to get back that comfortable feeling of being less than…but you can’t. The spirit won’t let you. It’s gone, it’s done, and it’s over. You can never go back. And that’s when you’ve crossed one of the major finish lines of life. That’s when you’ve made it to the next level. That’s when you can smile and say, “I don’t have to go back there ever again…because now I made it.”


A Happy Place

March 15, 2015 Discouragement

Drown out the world and dream about a better place, a better dream, and a better you. Then stand up, get out, and make it happen.

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A Libra

March 1, 2015 Uncategorized

But now, this is about me, this is about God’s vision, this is about blazing a path for other dreamers like me.

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When I Wake Up

January 25, 2015 Failure

And when I woke up, everything I went through was beautiful

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The Six Year Quit

January 13, 2015 Failure

When God won’t let you put your dreams to sleep

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Breaking The Shell

January 9, 2015 Fear

You must break the shell around you. Be the light that you’ve always been and show it to the world. Break the shell.

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January 4, 2015 Discouragement

You are more than your circumstances. You are more than your failures. God has a plan for you. Are you willing to follow what God has planted in your heart all along? Go-get-your-dream.

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December 31, 2014 Self Improvement

I’ve come out of rough, dry, hard places to be the person that I am now. God said to me, “Thank you for blossoming anyhow. Now embrace the sunshine.”

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December 14, 2014 Self Improvement

No matter who left you, no matter how many times you’ve failed, no matter the circumstances; It’s time to move forward.

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