This time I didn’t cry. I wanted to but I couldn’t. I knew that I probably should but I didn’t. What once was easy to fall into that pattern of getting rejected, crying and asking God why people treat me in such a way, and then try to get my life back together; was over. This time I was frustrated but it was laughable like, “how dare you think you can pull a fast one on me and I not catch that. That God wouldn’t catch that?” I will not run anymore. Thank you God because I’ve learned how to fight and stand…and I will not run.

I know now that if I had never been rejected I wouldn’t know how special I really am. Not more special than others but there is something special about me, uniquely special. I have a purpose and a dream. People don’t agree and they don’t understand but now, it’s ok. It’s my dream. It is not theirs. I can now leave you behind. I don’t have to deal with the pain and anguish and the disrespect that comes with dealing with you. Not anymore. And even when it looks like I’ve ran out of all my options, that leaving you would seem like I will be losing everything, that now I would have to find another way to pursue my dreams; it’s ok because God has my back. I can burn that bridge and keep going. I stand tall and keep going.

I am fueled by that hatred that other’s have against me. It means I’m special. That I have a light that isn’t acceptable to everyone else but to me. It’s mine. And I’m not talking about being a jerk and then telling everyone that you have haters. No, it’s for reasons unwarranted. It’s for the nice people who do their best to bring their own special light into the world. It’s for the honest hustlers, the ambitious, the dreamers, the do-gooders, the life changers, the internally beautiful light shiners. It’s for you. It’s for us. I will not run, I will not hide my light, and I will not cry. I can laugh now and say, “You can go on and hate me now. It’s cool. It is all good. God bless you anyways,” Amen.

{ 0 comments }

Soul Cry

May 14, 2015 Fear

God quieted the voices in my head and told me it’s ok ,I’ve got you. Now go ahead and fly.

Read More

Graduation

May 3, 2015 Self Improvement

I know new chapters means new demons, new problems, new blessings and new experiences…but I am ready. I was born to fly. I have graduated.

Read More

Resonate

April 9, 2015 Uncategorized

When you look at something that resonated with you and say, “I can do that. It’s possible.”

Read More

Comfort of Failure

March 27, 2015 Self Improvement

You’ve tried to get back that comfortable feeling of being less than…but you can’t. The spirit won’t let you. It’s gone, it’s done, and it’s over.

Read More

A Happy Place

March 15, 2015 Discouragement

Drown out the world and dream about a better place, a better dream, and a better you. Then stand up, get out, and make it happen.

Read More

A Libra

March 1, 2015 Uncategorized

But now, this is about me, this is about God’s vision, this is about blazing a path for other dreamers like me.

Read More

When I Wake Up

January 25, 2015 Failure

And when I woke up, everything I went through was beautiful

Read More

The Six Year Quit

January 13, 2015 Failure

When God won’t let you put your dreams to sleep

Read More