“The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
I first came across this quote from Alicia Keys’ The Element of Freedom CD. At first I thought that she had written this quote herself. But through my inevitable skill of investigation(google) I found out that she was not the owner of this quote but it was a woman by the name of Anais Nin, a famous writer. The sentence didn’t have much of an impact on my life until 2 weeks ago. I woke up one ordinary morning and prepared myself for another day at work. As I’m walking out the door I sighed and asked myself, “Why am I doing this?” Since I was 18 I’ve worked to survive circumstances. Before college, I worked in order to go to school or afford books. During college, I worked to stay in school. After college, I worked to pay bills and that is where I have been stuck every since. I had come upon some jobs that I thought were going to take me places but it didn’t happen that way. It was just an endless string of jobs that went nowhere.
Sometimes you are so immersed in surviving and dealing with everyday life that you don’t know how you ended up in this unhappy place. You don’t realize how far you’ve gone down this path until you wake up one day and ask yourself, “How did I get here?” When I entered into the school system my plan was to stay there one year until I got back on my feet and back into my career job. But through many unanswered resumes, empty promises, and a crumbling economy my plans were deferred. I ended up in the school system for over five years. I had given up. My dreams didn’t excite me anymore. They no longer kept me up at night. That burning desire to follow my heart had died out. I resented other people who were successful. When people asked how I was doing I didn’t want to talk about it. I closed myself up and dealt with my failures alone. No one understood my problems and others did not care. As result I was a lonely bud refusing to never open up.
When I realized that I might finally have the option to get off the path I was going I had a range of emotions. What am I going to do about health insurance? What am I going to do if this plan fails? What if it turns out that I’ve made a mistake? Can I actually leave my comfort zone for the unknown? Just like the angel and devil that represents your conscience on television I was also listening to both sides, my mind and my heart. My mind said to be sensible. The most sensible thing to do is to stay where there is security. Your sensible friends would agree that you need to remember your responsibilities. They’ll tell you that you should not complain about your job. You are blessed to have a job because there are many who don’t have jobs. You have bills to pay. You have mouths to feed. And you know what? They’re absolutely right. It is more logical to work where there is security. Where your comfort zone lets you know that every predictable step you’ll make will steer you out of danger. Routine is much safer than the unknown. However, my heart says run and be free. Look up affordable health insurance that you can pay for on your own. This opportunity can give you more time to write. The people at this other job seem to be cool and relaxed. My heart also began to ask questions. How much is security worth your sanity? Your well being? Your peace of mind? Your happiness?
And the day came when I realized that I could do better than just work to live and survive. The day came when I removed the dream killers out of my life. The day came when the decision to be free became more powerful than living a mundane and routine filled life. The day came when I looked up to the sky and asked the Lord to guide me through the unknown. Guide me to take the steps towards the road less traveled. The day came when I listened to the burning desires of my heart and not the sensibilities of my mind. Now I’m not saying drop everything and go for your dreams. We all have responsibilities that need to be taken care of. But when there is an opportunity placed before you that you know will help you to move forward, progress, move closer to God, be happy, and follow your dreams, by faith step out onto the unknown. Take that risk. When your day comes are you going to take the risk to blossom and be free? Or will you remain tightly closed in a bud?
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